Why do so many people think children are hellions at weddings?

Edmund Rappley: Agree, Nova. I couldn't imagine any of my friends allowing their children to act poorly. Every wedding I've been to that has had kids was fine! If anything the children were the stars on the dance floor. But perhaps there is the problem for some...When I have children & am invited to a wedding, I will most likely get a babysitter & a driver. I'd be grateful for the opportunity to get dolled up & cut loose a bit!P.S. There were no children at my wedding - but it was a small wedding & none of my close friends or family have children! There were some prego's though. :)...Show more

Lanita Reichman: I'm with you on this one. I'd love to have kids at my wedding, but the parents were more interested in a night out without them, so no kids. It relieves them of that responsibility for a little while and they can let go and really enjoy themselves.

Lawana Neemann: Kids are kids. It amazes me how some people think babies shouldn't cry or that ki! ds won't act out. I think alot of people forget they too were once a kid crying their eyes out, acting out, throwing a tantrum, etc. I've been to weddings with kids and weddings without kids. The kid ones were fine. The kids danced around and had fun. We had kids at our wedding. I see no point in excluding my family or my friends children. ...Show more

Carter Dewater: You're too young for this.You should wait till you're at least 25.Finish your education. Go to a university or college. Join the workforce. Get a steady job. Build up a reasonable savings account. Travel the world. Do cool things.Do these things as individuals.***...Show more

Lorelei Lilburn: Because they can't stand children in their everyday lives. And having kids in attendance would ruin their picture perfect fantasy.I have seen hellion kids who come from immature parents who don't care anything at all about disciplining them, but for every one hellion I have seen, I have seen 12 behaved kids. I! don't understand why the intense hatred toward them when they! truly are in the minority. Every wedding and family function I have been to allowed and even encouraged kids to attend and I can't recall any instance where children disrupted anything, even when the reception ran late into the evening. I have never seen babysitters of any kind at any wedding I have been to, be it a hired teenager or a tv set, and thus we don't intend to have anything like that for the kids we plan to invite. I don't understand the motivation that some have to quarantine the kids the entire night or even just after dinner. If you don't want to see them at all, don't invite them, but don't be a ***** about it either. From what I have seen in the past, kids do know how to entertain themselves but it is the self-centered adults who don't give them any credit and thus lump everyone into a group and say they are nasty, noisy, etc, even if only one out of 20 is misbehaving. Kids love to dance so there is no harm whatsoever in allowing them on the dance floor wit! h the adults. Don't blame the kids because the parents refuse to do their job. Besides, seriously, kids will never learn how to behave properly in social settings like that unless they are exposed to them at an early age and made to sit down and behave. You cannot expect someone to automatically know at age 16 or 18 out of the blue how to behave at certain events or situations if they were never exposed to them when they were younger. Anyone who believes otherwise has no business with children of their own....Show more

Cedric Grimstead: I can see your point. Though, I don't agree with it. I've always felt (and still feel), that children at events like weddings and funerals should be circumspect. I've been to many weddings where babies cried through out the whole ceremony, and many young children run up and down the aisle. I think discretion should be used in these types of events. I've been to plenty of local weddings,and I have been able to find childcare for my chil! dren. Out-of-state weddings I usually don't attend because of issues wi! th: logistics, childcare, timing, and money. I just send my RSVP back with a lovely gift, and send my regrets. Well that's my two cents. ...Show more

Arnoldo Budzynski: I agree with you. Most kids are capable of behaving and not throwing a tantrum.I think those people who think kids are terrible either a) have lots of relatives or friends who dont parent well and consequently their kids turn into little devils or b) simply dont want kids at their wedding and feel they need to make an excuse why they arent inviting kids. Im not against adult-only weddings, but you dont need to explain why or blame the kids. Some weddings are adult-only, simple as that....Show more

Alphonso Brake: I agree that most of the time the parents are too busy getting drunk and having a good time of their own to pay attention to their kids. The only kids that will be at my wedding are my 6 nieces and nephews who will be in the wedding party....if I didn't have any...there would be none in! vited.

Reyes Brunell: As the questions kinda hints at my ex- wants to design my wedding dress and all the people in the wedding party's outfits but he has been lying to me left and right and is fighting with me about what I want on MY dress and also about designing a dress for my 2 year old flower girl.... Should I just cut him out of my life???.....Oh and he told me that he had sex even though he swore he would stay sober until marrige......Oh and he also swore he went sober and he just called me drunk off his butt and revealed that he had lied to me about him having another girlfriend....Show more

Trena Berum: Well I'll be having kids at my wedding, but I do see why sometime people don't want them there. You can't pick and choose who's kids you invite because then there will be hard feelings so it's an all or nothing situation. You can't say well becky has sweet nice children so she can bring them but Jamie's kids are terrible loud and spoiled so she can't b! ring hers. So if you're having a more casual wedding it's not that big! of a deal, but if you're having a formal ceremony I can see where having kids may become an issue......Show more

Branden Roddick: I have no idea. We had about 30 kids at our wedding from infant to teen and had no problems. And the older folks love watching them dance at the reception.The only time I saw kids being bad at a wedding was when there were balloons. They wanted to chase each other and hit each other and make other kid's hair go static-y.We did not have balloons and they were fine. And no babies cried during our one hour Mass. I also had some coloring books and crayons at the tables for the kids to use if they wanted to....Show more

Elsie Resner: Just because he is "the perfect guy" doesn't mean he is the perfect guy for YOU.The void, also might be the fact that you are fighting a long distance relationship.I'm with my perfect guy. But recently we went long distance and I have a void in my heart. Why? Because he's not here with me.Now, if he arriv! es and that void is still there, you need to consider calling off the engagement and relationship. Be careful. We don't know you as well as you know yourself. If you feel he isn't right then he might not be right.Consider all options :)...Show more

Jed Mutone: I had an extremely formal military wedding at a very formal venue and we had everyone's children! Marriage is about family, about belonging, about new beginnings... surely children illustrate that most clearly?We had a room at the Hotel where the babies could take a nap, and the older children had an absolute ball and behaved in that lovely, bouncy way that children do. A wedding isn't a sterile, clinical event, it's a time for EVERYONE to celebrate....Show more

Percy Seiger: If a wedding runs well into the evening(ie past bedtimes) they get cranky or bored or tired. I'm having a bunch of children at my wedding including my own daughter. They may get cranky or tired, but its one night and they'll have fu! n reguardless, especially if there are kids to play with.

Darnell! Cutliff: I had 14+ kids at my wedding and they were a delight...but I think it depends on your venue, the timing of everything etc. If we had a 7:30, candle lit service, followed by a sophisticated tapas bar...the kids would have been 86ed....it is a matter of personal preference, and a great way to thin out your list and save money to not have kids. Additionally parents are more free to enjoy themselves without their kiddos with them.

Antone Bual: A man not fond of sex, now thats a new one...and somewhat not normal, I would be hurt if my husband didn't want to have sex with me....It sounds like your are bored with him, you are young you will find someone that fills the void,sounds like he is just not the one....Show more

Elden Dedon: I forgot to mention that yes my Fiance is O.K. with the guy designing my dress if thats what makes me happy

Walter Scordino: I didn't want to have children at my wedding, but not because I think they are "hellions." I imagi! ne that a lot of people have the same opinion as me. I didn't want them there because my reception was a pretty formal event with an open bar that lasted very late. That is just not the proper place for children to be. But the people who do view children as "hellions" at weddings have probably seen children running around, shouting and playing because their parents either don't pay attention to or discipline them, or because they don't seem to realize that a wedding reception is not the proper place to allow children to act this way....Show more

Roosevelt Pendill: My Fiance and I are getting married in May. We are doing a sand ceremony instead of the candle but are having problems finding a song to play. We want something short, around 2 minutes, and somewhat sweet but not to sappy. Any good help would be appreciated.

Joni Ziak: He not around you...thats why you feel empty..

Julienne Poplawski: This Site Might Help You.RE:Sand ceremony song ideas?My ! Fiance and I are getting married in May. We are doing a sand ceremony ! instead of the candle but are having problems finding a song to play. We want something short, around 2 minutes, and somewhat sweet but not to sappy. Any good help would be appreciated....Show more

Joan Stavropoulos: I am scared of sex so it dont bother me at all.....he is well scared too...just didnt know how to word it....he was hurt....

Mohamed Szollosi: I think it depends on experience.People who are around a lot of kids understand how kids are and know that the rambunctiousness is not necessarily misbehavior. They know to plan for something for the kids to do at the reception and think the whole matter is adorable.People who are not often around kids find them noisy and irritating. Their experience is limited to the monster in the supermarket whose parent seems loathe to disciple the tyke. They don't quite know what to do with kids to keep them entertained....Show more

Luis Farlow: Because more often than not parents have kids before they're matu! re enough themselves to handle it, and so when raising the child, discipline takes a backseat to everything else.You see so many kids on the Maury Povich show as being out of control, but that's the sad reality of the world. Kids are out of control, and some parents let it get so bad that nothing they can say or do will stop the kid once they get started.That's why kids seem so out of control at weddings - because the parents didn't handle it early and set the tone....Show more

Jammie Taddei: The empty feeling is probably and early sign that you guys might not be right for each other and also the fact that he lives far away from u. you are young and sometimes you think too much and psych yourself out. give it time, be patient and in due time things will clear up on what to do.

Randa Hessell: Because it only takes one "hellion" to ruin a nice event; people don't want to take chances. Kids are unpredictable, especially in large numbers.

Raymon Fiene: I thin! k children can be hellions anywhere, not just weddings. I've seen hell! ion children at movie theaters, grocery stores, restaurants, and countless other locales. While you say you'd have been punished if you'd misbehaved as a child, we've ALL seen instances where children act up and the parents do nothing. We all probably also know someone or are related to someone who is a less-than-attentive parent, especially when they get around people that they feel they can trust to "help" look after their little ones.Sometimes parents get the idea that if they're in a big room with many other extended family members that they can slack off in the parenting department because others will act as free caregivers. I went to a wedding where my cousin and her husband let me meet their toddler, and then said, "My goodness, she has really taken to you, you wouldn't mind watching her while we have a dance, do you?" I didn't see them again for nearly thirty minutes, until their little daughter was screaming bloody murder and I was ill-equipped to handle her at! that point. Nice, huh? The only person to apologize to me for leaving me stranded with an eighteen-month-old? The bride - another of my cousins - who wasn't even involved.We can't control who is shopping at the mall when we are, or who is at the next table over in a bistro, but if we are hosting a wedding we can absolutely have 100% say over who attends, and if we choose to have our wedding without children and eliminate even the barest possibility that one of them is allowed to misbehave due to distracted or lackadaisical parents, then that is our right. If parents don't like it, a wedding is hardly a command performance and they are more than welcome to stay home with their little bundles of joy....Show more

Bethany Blocker: The site I am listing below has about a hundred or more for every part of the wedding up until the end of the reception. It has worked good so far. You can click on song and see a video of it.http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-songs

M! elvin Nakama: i think even for the most well behaved child it is a long! day. Yes children may dress up for church but a wedding a child is dressed from about 10a-11p and they can not burn off their energy. They are required to sit all day. They are off scheduled. One of my brothers does not discipline his daughter in general so she would be horrible at a all day wedding. For me i do not want children because of the number of children we would have about 150 adults and about 65 children , that means a bigger hall and lots of extra food. As a child i general went to the ceremony and the reception were adult only and i had fun playing with my cousins from out of state at someone ( babysitters) house while my parents were out.You are right the most hell-raising children are the minority how ever they caused the most problems....Show more

Chadwick Schmelz: I'm in agreement with most of the other posters here; although you are correct in saying "Children with reasonable parents can be very well behaved and fun additions to a party - even! a wedding," the sad truth is that many children DON'T have reasonable parents. Too many parents cannot or will not control their children, and oftentimes a couple just doesn't want to have to deal with them at a formal event that took months to plan. I personally don't have the patience to deal with kids for very long. My fiance feels much the same, and we don't plan on ever having children ourselves. We are not having kids at our wedding (except a couple infants that cannot be left with a sitter) because we would like to have an exclusively mature, formal event. I do accept a baby crying randomly during my ceremony, but not a 7-year-old throwing a temper tantrum because they don't want to wait for cake.Edit: I'm glad to see so many people posting that they do know parents that refuse to accept bad behaviour from their children. I'm one of six kids in my family, and we were ALWAYS well-behaved at proper events: church, weddings, symphonies, etc. If we acted up, we w! ere punished and made to apologize for our bad behaviour. However, eve! n as a young child I noticed that other kids my age would act rather inappropriately and not get spanked or reprimanded for it - and I see it even more often nowadays....Show more

May Stands: I see your point but more often then not I have seen children be misbehaved then not (especially lately). I was also raised children are to be seen not heard when at function's like a wedding or gathering. We were always invited and sat quietly, however we were board out of our minds but we managed to stay quite and behave but our parents made us. It really isn't the children fault that so many brides (like me) asked for there to be no children. It the parents fault, if more parents said no and taught their kids manners it wouldn't of been an issue with us! We have several friends and family member's who think little Susan sticking her finger in the cake is cute. Or the children running through the hall is ok. It isn't!!! Some ignore there kids when they have fits because they d! idn't get what they wanted (ok in some cases but you take them out side of the hall or Church or away from the function) and let them have a fit away from the function. Not in the middle of vows or cutting the cake or in the reception hall. Those with babies should sit in the back and be ready at any moment to leave when babies start to fuss. I know it very hard and you cant tell when a baby is going to cry, but please be polite to the couple and leave. Plus we had an evening wedding that started at 7pm on the beach at high tide, open bar not exactly the place you should have children. You wouldn't take your children to dinner and dancing where there would be drinking so why would you take them to an evening wedding!I have seen so many ill beahved kids (at weddings prior to mine I was seriously afraid) I have seen a child try to hide under ther bride gown to get away from his parents, people letting ther kids stick there fingers in the cake, before the bride or groom has se! en it, standing on chairs yelling, running around the reception while t! here trying to serve dinner, running around the dance floor (actually made people stop dancing it was so bad), I have seen several fitts, and worse of all parents yelling from there table at ther kids. I have left two weddings because I couldnt deal with the out of control kids (which most parents were to busy talking to realtives to watch). I even have seen a bride and groom announce "to all parent to collect there children please we like to start our first dance" I felt so bad for the bride and groom! It was so embarrssing and I wasnt even a family member or had any kids and I was embarressed, I could only think of how they felt after all the planning and money they spent to have there perfect day and for guest to be so rude to the couple and not thing of how it effect them. I totally see why children are not allowed, how ever even one or two children misbave it will be remebered. Sad most people wont remember the center pices but they will remember the guest who make a f! ool of them selfs and the food....Show more

Woodrow Neyman: A lot of my family members have small children and at weddings the kids were on the dance floor and someone was always dancing with them, they ran around a little but nothing big like a knocked over wedding cake. If they get tired, their parents should take them home, or give them to someone to take home. I've never had a problem with kids at a wedding, I come from a family who thinks all members of a family should participate in family functions.

Asley Quickle: I think it's because everyone wants their day to be perfect, and if one person has a bad experience from kids at their wedding, they'll tell their friends who will tell their friends and on and on.So, to make themselves feel better, the bride and groom decide not to have any children at the wedding, to make sure the day is perfect (and then go and spill red wine on the wedding dress or something).Personally, I think having children at wedding! s is lovely. A chance to share your big day with all ages :)and, baby b! ridesmaids look so adorable!hope I helped....Show more

Charissa Riley: My grandnephew turned five this past Tuesday. A small family gathering was held at a Chuckie Cheese restaurant. I attended and behaved myself. To be honest, I was dreading the venue. It has been almost 20 years since I Iast was in such an establishment. I remembered the food to be of poor quality and the place to be noisy, crowded with small people running amuck having fun doing things I wasn't really interested in doing. I went years ago because loving my child and now loving my grandnephew I wouldn't have missed celebrating with them for the world. Still, I'm an adult. I have a lot of experience controlling myself in places where if it were not for love I'd have no interest in visiting.Should we ask so much of a child by draging them to an event that is formal and beyond their notions of etiqutte?I had a delightful time anyway when I took my son all those years ago. My delight came from w! atching him enjoy his party, just as it did last Tuesday in watching my next generation. So I sat patiently and tuned out the bells and whistles and running and whining and had a good time. Should we except that much from a child?I think after the wedding children who were in the ceremony should be breifly in attendance at the reception and then taken or sent home. Kind of like when children join you and your guests for dinner at home. After dessert they are sent to prepare for bed. Then come in to say goodnight so that the adults may enjoy the gathering unencumbered by the restrictions to conversation and celebration that is over the head or may be inappropriate for children. We don't invite them to our bachelor/shower parties do we?It is not that we don't want our children involved in our milestones. It is that they need to feel relaxed and free to be themselves, so do adults. ...Show more

Mohamed Szollosi: I don't think all children are hellions but there is! a decline in the amount of discipline that children receive and parent! s are so worried about hurting their children's feeling they've stop reprimanding them when they misbehave.That said, most people on here seem to think that every child is bad, and should be exercised of all there demons. (just kidding)I think its all in the way the questions are asked. Most kids do talk when they want something, and as much attention as every one thinks the bride deserves its kind of a no-no for anyone to have to be destracted by their children and not pay attention to her. Kids can be hard to deal with, they have needs and they are immediate ones that you can't really ignore. Most people seem to think that any little distraction is a bad one....Show more

Jose Calaycay: I have been to two weddings recently that had children.The kids at one were very misbehaved. At the other the children were very well behaved. I can't generalize all children but from those two cases the main difference was the parents. The parents with the misbehaved children didn't ! watch their children at all. I definitely don't have a negative view about children at weddings but I do have one about parents who don't supervise their children (however that feeling is not exclusive to weddings!) and even then to me it is more of a safety issue than anything else....Show more

Toshia Metzker: okay so im 19 (young I know)I have met the perfect guywe are engagedI live in NC and him in LondonIn june he came to see meand he is coming back in Nov. (thanksgiving)okay so he is perfect because1. he dont just give up on me he finds something that can help2. he Truly loves me3. he is okay with me being a virgin til marriage (infact he isnt to fond of sex personal reasons)4. he can't have kids (it kills him to know that and I am sorry he cant however....since I was little ive wanted to adopt)5. he has money (no im not using him its just I know we wont have to struggle through life)6. he has the biggest heart7. he really loves me and I love him8. my family love! s him (even my dad which it is hard for him to even approve of my frien! ds) also my family well....they are very picky so it just came in total shock when they ALL loved himanywayI cant help but have the feeling of emptiness I dont see why in my mind I know he is perfect and in my heart I love himbut there is a hole...Show more

Elden Dedon: Because he's not the perfect guy. The empty feeling won't be there when it is the perfect guy.I dated the perfect guy too and had the empty feeling. Not the perfect guy, we broke up, and now I am with the perfect guy and I have no empty feeling :)

Hollis Demasters: it's because the bride and groom are paying 2 or 3 figures for each plate of food. I went to a wedding a year ago that cost $100 per person, the bride told me! So to have a child pick through a $50 or $100 plate of food and leave it uneaten is 1) wasteful and B) costly.

Agustina Stimmel: Think of him as if he was any other vendor that you didn't know...If you walked into a bridal couturier and the person did not listen to you! , made a dress that was not what you asked for, made matching outfits for the rest of your bridal party that you weren't keen on either and then asked you to pay anyway would you pay them or demand your deposit back and walk out?I think you know that if it was a stranger doing this to you then they would be reported to fair trading.Cut him out of your life. You do not need a bitter, lying drunk involved in your wedding day.Also does it really matter to you that he had sex with someone else or claimed to be sober when he wasn't? This man is using you and toying with your emotions. You are getting married to someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with happily ever after. Forget about this loser, block his number from your phone and don't answer any anonymous phonecalls. You are better off without him....Show more

Raye Tredennick: I don't see any problem at all with adults choosing to include children at some social gatherings and to include only the a! dults at others. But I do have a problem with people who have a problem! with this, and color such hosts as ogres who "hate children" or are "insensitive to the needs of parents" when they choose to invite only adults. Simply decline invitations you don't care to accept.

Ulrike Hert: From my experience (my wedding included) I've found that quite a few parents tend to let their children run wild at the reception once the dinner is over. It seems to me like some of them think that since there's a lot of other adults that they know there that someone will stop the child if they see them doing something stupid or dangerous.At my wedding, I heard my wedding party and my parents tell kids to stop whatever they were doing more then their parents where. We only had 8 kids there, but it was stressful since it was held in my parents house. We made sure to have plenty of things to entertain them, but it never seemed to be enough....Show more

Jorge Gerrero: I went through a lot of songs but for me...this one would sum it up...."Taking You Ho! me"...by Don Henley 4:17http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPUE8aEn20M

Fritz Sisomphou: Totally agree, Nova!Just as not all children are hellions (I would have been in big trouble if I did some things I've seen kids do!), not everyone is against having kids at weddings.Sometimes, though, certain functions should be reserved for when the people invited can truly understand the situation. To a kid, a wedding is just a big party. They may not understand the reason for the party (marriage). Also, sometimes it's good for parents to get out on their own and socialize with other adults.Some parents want the night out with someone else watching their kids, they just forget to get a babysitter and expect other wedding guests to watch the kids for them. That's quite an imposition.If there were more "reasonable" parents who watched their children, attitudes might change. Unfortunately, you cannot politely tell Sally she may bring her well behaved children while Sarah's should ! stay 100 yards away from your reception because she does not watch them! . Better to not have them.What gets me is when people are so incredibly offended when they cannot bring their children. The bride and groom did not set out to personally offend someone, that's just the way they decided they wanted their wedding....Show more

Esteban Lyson: Well, first of all, I've seen kids ruin a lot of weddings one way or another. One knocked over the cake running around, another cried through the entire ceremony (and was too old to be doing so!). Granted, their parents were as much to blame for letting the kids run around and for not taking the screaming kid outside, but also I think that brides, when they're planning their weddings, also get really paranoid about what could go wrong at theit big day. At least I have been. This is the day that you have planned for a long time, sometimes a year or two, or even more, and it's the day where you'll be photographed and judged more than any other day. It's a lot of pressure, and I can see why brides ar! e concerned, when they plan every tiny detail and know that kids are unpredictable....Show more

Ricardo Rozelle: Sand Ceremony Song Ideas